Well a new breeze (or is that scent?) is blowing through the ranks of the Australian political parties with the establishment of 'What Women Want' - a political party by and for women
http://www.whatwomenwant.org/
Hats off to Justine Cairns for standing for what she believes in - decent maternity care for all Australian women (particularly in rural areas) amongst other issues for women and working mums. Check it out and go Justine in the election today!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Ode to a Single Working Mother
Well we all need good friends and as Working Mums we need them more than ever - particularly other Working Mums who know exactly how it is!
I want to acknowledge a great woman who happens to be my oldest friend. Alison is one of those incredibly courageous women - a Single Working Mum. She's mother of 2 - a psychologist and school counsellor - and a fabulous mime artist and blogger extraordinaire. Also one of the funniest and wittiest people I know. It was she who suggested 'wouldn't it be good to have celebration ceremonies for new mothers?' Hence starting my whole journey towards working with Mums and Daughters that I do today - thanks Al.
Check out her blog for things artistic, on raising resilient kids, for dealing with depression, for a good laugh - and always a witty comment on life as a working mum...
http://alisonctuck.typepad.com/womanandchildfirst/
I want to acknowledge a great woman who happens to be my oldest friend. Alison is one of those incredibly courageous women - a Single Working Mum. She's mother of 2 - a psychologist and school counsellor - and a fabulous mime artist and blogger extraordinaire. Also one of the funniest and wittiest people I know. It was she who suggested 'wouldn't it be good to have celebration ceremonies for new mothers?' Hence starting my whole journey towards working with Mums and Daughters that I do today - thanks Al.
Check out her blog for things artistic, on raising resilient kids, for dealing with depression, for a good laugh - and always a witty comment on life as a working mum...
http://alisonctuck.typepad.com/womanandchildfirst/
Monday, August 13, 2007
Faking it - our girl poisoning culture
I just love women standing up for other women and girls!A recent article (full link below) on how glossy magazines are quickly poisoning our girls is just great. It discusses how images are faked to make girls believe these are true images of real women - and some of the ways in which mothers and other women are fighting back. Of course we gals love fashion, makeup and jewellery - adorning ourselves is one of the great privileges we have as women - but let's keep it real!
Women's Forum Australia are staging a 'Get Real' forum in Melbourne this coming weekend on 18th August with parodying titles such as 'Of Course You're Not Hot'; 'The Stick Insect Diet' and
'Hate Your Body - We show you how'. WM's - get on down there with your daughters and show them some real women - and better yet, don't buy those magazines and don't let your daughters buy them either. You KNOW they don't make you feel good about yourself....
http://www.smh.com.au/news/miranda-devine/paradise-glossed-magazines-driving-girlpoisoning-culture/2007/08/04/1185648206332.html
Working Mums Tip#5: Sending Out the Most Useful Message
The way you communicate, like it or not, is going to be a key part of how you are perceived. Research has shown that our Body Language contributes 55% of our communication, Voice (tone, pitch, volume, etc) is 38% and our words or content are only 7%!
So assertive body language is important for you as a Working Mum to be able to deal with negative comments that will inevitably come your way – from family, work collegues, scrunch points, other school mums (‘muffia’) comments.
The key is to ‘get really conscious’ about HOW you come across rather than just coming across. Ask yourself “what messages am I giving out’ and how might these effect how I’m being perceived?
So what can you do to be perceived as a congruent and confident Working Mum with your Body Language and Voice’?
1. Act as if………fake it till you make it
2. Be witness conscious – see yourself from outside
3. Keep eye contact when listening to others
4. Choose your position in a room wisely, stand next to someone in authority
5. Have your hands visible above the table
6. Take a notebook to meetings and use it!
Some of these things may sound like common sense - and feedback has been that many women don't do this! Being prepared and knowing what to do is the first step.
So assertive body language is important for you as a Working Mum to be able to deal with negative comments that will inevitably come your way – from family, work collegues, scrunch points, other school mums (‘muffia’) comments.
The key is to ‘get really conscious’ about HOW you come across rather than just coming across. Ask yourself “what messages am I giving out’ and how might these effect how I’m being perceived?
So what can you do to be perceived as a congruent and confident Working Mum with your Body Language and Voice’?
1. Act as if………fake it till you make it
2. Be witness conscious – see yourself from outside
3. Keep eye contact when listening to others
4. Choose your position in a room wisely, stand next to someone in authority
5. Have your hands visible above the table
6. Take a notebook to meetings and use it!
Some of these things may sound like common sense - and feedback has been that many women don't do this! Being prepared and knowing what to do is the first step.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Working Mums Tip#4: Stop the Guilt by Managing Your Internal Self
If your most important values are not being met, you’re more likely to be stressed and more likely to be less satisfied. This dissatisfaction can present itself in a number of ways – and guilt is the most common!
We’re going to have a quick look at guilt with a view to you being aware of when this happens so you have an opportunity to manage it vs letting it run you. What, if anything, do you feel guilty about as a working mother? Write it down!
Be aware of what triggers your guilt so you can put in place measures to counter/prevent it. Challenge your guilt – is it your voice - or someone else’s?
When you feel guilty, check in with yourself – and particularly check your values:
– Check what you feel guilty about specially if its happening regularly
– What’s giving rise to the guilt?
– What’s behind the feeling you have?
– What’s the value underneath that?
– If it’s happening on a regular basis, what’s the trend?
Limiting beliefs – where the guilt comes from
Guilt can also be created by limiting beliefs which we will touch on now.
What is faulty or negative thinking, or a limiting belief? It is a belief I have about myself that limits me from being my true self. If you feel your energy is low or negative, you are probably saying something to yourself that is limiting.
Our beliefs influence how we feel and behave rather than events – events are actually neutral – but how we interpret them is not neutral ie we usually make it good or bad.
For example , just say you forget to pack your child’s lunch for school – perhaps you think ‘I’m such a bad mother’ rather than ‘Today I forgot to pack his/her lunch’. What’s underlying this thought – that you must remember everything, every day of the year? You’re only human, aren’t you?
How we appraise situations is critical in determining how we respond. Have you heard the concept of ‘above the line/below the line’ behaviour i.e.
Ownership
Acceptance
Responsibility
______________________________
Blame
Excuse
Deny
Above the line behaviour in life situations (including working mum situations) are generally what successful people do. They don’t get stuck in blaming, excusing, or denying (others OR themselves!) and just get on with the job at hand.
If our beliefs and thoughts are self-limiting, self-sabotaging, irrational (not based on evidence) they are a barrier to our success. What’s the belief? Does it support me? If not, then change it!
We’re going to have a quick look at guilt with a view to you being aware of when this happens so you have an opportunity to manage it vs letting it run you. What, if anything, do you feel guilty about as a working mother? Write it down!
Be aware of what triggers your guilt so you can put in place measures to counter/prevent it. Challenge your guilt – is it your voice - or someone else’s?
When you feel guilty, check in with yourself – and particularly check your values:
– Check what you feel guilty about specially if its happening regularly
– What’s giving rise to the guilt?
– What’s behind the feeling you have?
– What’s the value underneath that?
– If it’s happening on a regular basis, what’s the trend?
Limiting beliefs – where the guilt comes from
Guilt can also be created by limiting beliefs which we will touch on now.
What is faulty or negative thinking, or a limiting belief? It is a belief I have about myself that limits me from being my true self. If you feel your energy is low or negative, you are probably saying something to yourself that is limiting.
Our beliefs influence how we feel and behave rather than events – events are actually neutral – but how we interpret them is not neutral ie we usually make it good or bad.
For example , just say you forget to pack your child’s lunch for school – perhaps you think ‘I’m such a bad mother’ rather than ‘Today I forgot to pack his/her lunch’. What’s underlying this thought – that you must remember everything, every day of the year? You’re only human, aren’t you?
How we appraise situations is critical in determining how we respond. Have you heard the concept of ‘above the line/below the line’ behaviour i.e.
Ownership
Acceptance
Responsibility
______________________________
Blame
Excuse
Deny
Above the line behaviour in life situations (including working mum situations) are generally what successful people do. They don’t get stuck in blaming, excusing, or denying (others OR themselves!) and just get on with the job at hand.
If our beliefs and thoughts are self-limiting, self-sabotaging, irrational (not based on evidence) they are a barrier to our success. What’s the belief? Does it support me? If not, then change it!
Monday, August 6, 2007
Working Mums Tip#3: Tips for dealing with ‘Scrunch Points’
‘Scrunch points’ is a term we’ve made up to describe where the different roles and parts of our lives often collide and there can be tension and conflict and old mother guilt can raise her ugly head!
The scrunch points tend to be times when our stress level rises fast, usually because we’re dealing with multiple needs and multiple expectations, coupled with an unforgiving deadline. It is useful to be aware of which things create most stress for you so that you can try and anticipate these and put measures in place to manage them as effectively as you can
Some common scrunch points can be the transitions we have to make - where our different roles as working mums overlap e.g. at home in the morning just before you go to work or at work at night, trying to get home. Or the most stressful times could be things like - having to tell your kids/boss about your absence or what to do when kids are sick.
What are the main issues you have to deal with in this space? What stresses you? What happens to you in these transitions?
How are you thinking/feeling at these times? Is this helping you or making things worse? Here are some tips to help you through these scrunch points:
1. Get into witness conscious – ie as if you were outside yourself looking at yourself. Identify the emotion you are feeling (vs. the reaction – which is commonly your behaviour under pressure) and then at least you feel more in charge and not at the beck and call of others. Also remember that children often pick up on your emotion and act it out.
2. Give yourself time - what is this really about? If you do have a strong emotional reaction – remember to give yourself a chance to recover before you act on anything. Buy time by making a phone call, checking your diary, going to the bathroom. What comes up for you? Is it a theme? Do you need to do something about it? How can you re-frame what you are saying to yourself and stop the negative tape playing inside your head?
3. Do a values check! If you have a strong feeling/reaction, it is likely that your values are being affected. Be proactive and check out your response. Try and work out what’s really bothering you i.e. which value is being affected and try and find a way of looking after that more effectively.
4. Consider your physical self – body language, dress, voice, etc and see if by adjusting that you can help calm the situation e.g. movement – speed up or slow down your pace, breathing – take 6 seconds to reengage the neocortex.
5. Consider your environment – lighting, music, candles, oils, sprays, flowers, pictures, the car or your journey home. What can you do or use to change the state you’re in and make it more useful?
6. Ask yourself – what’s most important to me right at this moment?
It is is really useful to have some strategies up your sleeve for when these scrunch points occur.
The scrunch points tend to be times when our stress level rises fast, usually because we’re dealing with multiple needs and multiple expectations, coupled with an unforgiving deadline. It is useful to be aware of which things create most stress for you so that you can try and anticipate these and put measures in place to manage them as effectively as you can
Some common scrunch points can be the transitions we have to make - where our different roles as working mums overlap e.g. at home in the morning just before you go to work or at work at night, trying to get home. Or the most stressful times could be things like - having to tell your kids/boss about your absence or what to do when kids are sick.
What are the main issues you have to deal with in this space? What stresses you? What happens to you in these transitions?
How are you thinking/feeling at these times? Is this helping you or making things worse? Here are some tips to help you through these scrunch points:
1. Get into witness conscious – ie as if you were outside yourself looking at yourself. Identify the emotion you are feeling (vs. the reaction – which is commonly your behaviour under pressure) and then at least you feel more in charge and not at the beck and call of others. Also remember that children often pick up on your emotion and act it out.
2. Give yourself time - what is this really about? If you do have a strong emotional reaction – remember to give yourself a chance to recover before you act on anything. Buy time by making a phone call, checking your diary, going to the bathroom. What comes up for you? Is it a theme? Do you need to do something about it? How can you re-frame what you are saying to yourself and stop the negative tape playing inside your head?
3. Do a values check! If you have a strong feeling/reaction, it is likely that your values are being affected. Be proactive and check out your response. Try and work out what’s really bothering you i.e. which value is being affected and try and find a way of looking after that more effectively.
4. Consider your physical self – body language, dress, voice, etc and see if by adjusting that you can help calm the situation e.g. movement – speed up or slow down your pace, breathing – take 6 seconds to reengage the neocortex.
5. Consider your environment – lighting, music, candles, oils, sprays, flowers, pictures, the car or your journey home. What can you do or use to change the state you’re in and make it more useful?
6. Ask yourself – what’s most important to me right at this moment?
It is is really useful to have some strategies up your sleeve for when these scrunch points occur.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Working Mums Tip#2: Strategies for Decision Making and Easier Choices
Once we are clear about what’s important to us, then we can feel more confident and less stressed about the choices we have to make. However here are some extra strategies you can use to distinguish between the options available to you:
1. Control/influence
Do you have total control over the decision eg will I get up and meditate this morning? Or do I only have influence in this decision (not total control) and need another person’s agreement to make it eg can I leave work at 5pm today?
2. Compromise/choice
Do you consciously choose this option rather than making it a compromise and resenting it? Eg choosing to take on more work at a particular point and explaining ’why’ to family etc. The key here is your language – eg. ‘I choose to take on more work at this point’ rather than ‘I have to take on more work’. It makes a difference to how you feel!
3. Drain/fill
Does this option drain you of energy or fill you with energy? eg working with people you really like who make you laugh will fill you with energy; or deciding not to see a friend anymore because they are always negative or needy and drain you of energy.
Sometimes the combination of these top 3 factors can be useful eg - if you have to do something that drains you of energy and you have no control or influence over this decision or situation, then you can choose to do it for a certain time. See what a difference choosing makes rather than being a victim of the situation. Don’t believe me – just try it!
4. Should/want to
Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself or do you really ‘want to’ do something? Eg staying home with your kids when you don’t want to because you think ‘I should – a good mother does’ will only cause you stress (and the kids know anyway)! However if you really like doing PR - then offer to do it for the school musical! If you like it, it will give you energy and you’ll always find the time to do these ‘fun’ things.
If you are ‘shoulding’ and feel that you ‘have’ to do it – then choose it! Or perhaps think - will it help to fulfil a higher value of yours? Eg Maybe you don’t really want to work on the school ground’s working bee – but you really care about the environment so choose something to do that will assist that!
5. Faith in ability/motivation to do it
Do you have the motivation to do it? Or are you doing it just because you can and you’re good at it? Many working mums often get asked to do things and they do it because they can – not because they want to or are motivated to do it. So take some time before making a decision to feel inside and think ‘Do I really want to?’ Even if you can do it standing on your head- you don’t have to prove it to anyone any more!
Also remember - do you think you can do it? Because ‘If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right!
1. Control/influence
Do you have total control over the decision eg will I get up and meditate this morning? Or do I only have influence in this decision (not total control) and need another person’s agreement to make it eg can I leave work at 5pm today?
2. Compromise/choice
Do you consciously choose this option rather than making it a compromise and resenting it? Eg choosing to take on more work at a particular point and explaining ’why’ to family etc. The key here is your language – eg. ‘I choose to take on more work at this point’ rather than ‘I have to take on more work’. It makes a difference to how you feel!
3. Drain/fill
Does this option drain you of energy or fill you with energy? eg working with people you really like who make you laugh will fill you with energy; or deciding not to see a friend anymore because they are always negative or needy and drain you of energy.
Sometimes the combination of these top 3 factors can be useful eg - if you have to do something that drains you of energy and you have no control or influence over this decision or situation, then you can choose to do it for a certain time. See what a difference choosing makes rather than being a victim of the situation. Don’t believe me – just try it!
4. Should/want to
Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself or do you really ‘want to’ do something? Eg staying home with your kids when you don’t want to because you think ‘I should – a good mother does’ will only cause you stress (and the kids know anyway)! However if you really like doing PR - then offer to do it for the school musical! If you like it, it will give you energy and you’ll always find the time to do these ‘fun’ things.
If you are ‘shoulding’ and feel that you ‘have’ to do it – then choose it! Or perhaps think - will it help to fulfil a higher value of yours? Eg Maybe you don’t really want to work on the school ground’s working bee – but you really care about the environment so choose something to do that will assist that!
5. Faith in ability/motivation to do it
Do you have the motivation to do it? Or are you doing it just because you can and you’re good at it? Many working mums often get asked to do things and they do it because they can – not because they want to or are motivated to do it. So take some time before making a decision to feel inside and think ‘Do I really want to?’ Even if you can do it standing on your head- you don’t have to prove it to anyone any more!
Also remember - do you think you can do it? Because ‘If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Wanted: A Good Part-Time Job
I just read a letter in the New York Times that states that not only do 60% of Working Mums wanted to work part-time - but so do many fathers.
So what is it that stops employers valuing the talent that' s out there in the part-time pool - or listening to their people - women and men - who want to use their skills and be able to spend time with their families or on other pursuits? Seems pretty short-sighted thinking to me...
Also with the aging population, many people - both men and women - will need to be spending more of their time as carers looking after aging parents. Very similar scenario to working mums with dependent children, me thinks. Or just even being part-time retired, part-time working - so they can enjoy life as they want in their later years.
So savvy employers - get with the program - more good part-time quality jobs please! The demand will only increase not go away - and your workers will thank and reward you with loyalty and commitment.
So what is it that stops employers valuing the talent that' s out there in the part-time pool - or listening to their people - women and men - who want to use their skills and be able to spend time with their families or on other pursuits? Seems pretty short-sighted thinking to me...
Also with the aging population, many people - both men and women - will need to be spending more of their time as carers looking after aging parents. Very similar scenario to working mums with dependent children, me thinks. Or just even being part-time retired, part-time working - so they can enjoy life as they want in their later years.
So savvy employers - get with the program - more good part-time quality jobs please! The demand will only increase not go away - and your workers will thank and reward you with loyalty and commitment.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Working Mums Tip#1: Getting Clear on What’s Important to YOU
Where do you tend to focus most of your energy? Often our energy is focused externally because as Working Mums we are too busy looking after others – our children, our partner, often our aging parents as well. Yet our well being and the way we are in the world depends on only one person - our self!
Yet we can lose sight of what’s important to us in the midst of so much focus on others – and when we lose sight of what’s important then it becomes incredibly hard to make decisions. We don’t know what our priorities are and we can get confused by other people’s opinions and judgments – and as I’m sure you know –as Working Mums – there are plenty of those directed at us!
So we need to be clear about what’s important to us personally. For every Working Mum that will be different. Because if we know and live our lives by what’s important to US, we feel better about ourselves and more satisfied with our life. Things line up and align – we get in the ‘zone’.
If we don’t live according to our priorities – we will increasingly be at the beck and call of others and feel exhausted and torn in many ways. It will just cause us stress and dissatisfaction. Who wants that? Particularly in the mothering role – which is such an emotive role – it’s good to have some gauge by which to make our decisions in life.
Another reason why it’s important to look at our values – is because we will do whatever we can to get our values met!. Whether we know what they are and whether that happens consciously or unconsciously – it does happen. If we know what our values are, then we can make informed decisions that align with our life’s desires and make them more quickly and easily! Wouldn’t that be great – and it saves us time as well!
Let’s do this Simple Values Exercise to start.
1. Choose - your top values from the list below. Read over them and trust your gut feeling as to which ones matter to you. Highlight all those that are important to you.
Achievement
Health & Wellbeing
Leadership
Balance
Honesty
Open Communication
Belonging/affiliation
Family
Personal Development
Challenge
Financial Success
Respect
Contributing
Fun
Recognition & Prestige
Creativity
Initiative
Self Respect
Equality
Independence
Security
Freedom
Influence
Spirituality
Harmony
Integrity
Variety
2. Prioritise - your top 5 values from the list. If you can’t decide on your top 5, compare them one by one against each other ie is Family more important than Freedom?
3. Rate your current level of satisfaction with each value at this time in your life.
My Top 5 Values are ..................and My Level of Satisfaction is
1.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
2.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
3.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
5.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4. Review – what does this tell you about what is most important to you about your life? What is working and giving you satisfaction? What do you need to pay more attention to?
Start to think about what a difference knowing what’s important to you could mean to all the roles in your life, and most importantly, what a difference that will make to your decision making. In future lessons, it will be very clear why.
Yet we can lose sight of what’s important to us in the midst of so much focus on others – and when we lose sight of what’s important then it becomes incredibly hard to make decisions. We don’t know what our priorities are and we can get confused by other people’s opinions and judgments – and as I’m sure you know –as Working Mums – there are plenty of those directed at us!
So we need to be clear about what’s important to us personally. For every Working Mum that will be different. Because if we know and live our lives by what’s important to US, we feel better about ourselves and more satisfied with our life. Things line up and align – we get in the ‘zone’.
If we don’t live according to our priorities – we will increasingly be at the beck and call of others and feel exhausted and torn in many ways. It will just cause us stress and dissatisfaction. Who wants that? Particularly in the mothering role – which is such an emotive role – it’s good to have some gauge by which to make our decisions in life.
Another reason why it’s important to look at our values – is because we will do whatever we can to get our values met!. Whether we know what they are and whether that happens consciously or unconsciously – it does happen. If we know what our values are, then we can make informed decisions that align with our life’s desires and make them more quickly and easily! Wouldn’t that be great – and it saves us time as well!
Let’s do this Simple Values Exercise to start.
1. Choose - your top values from the list below. Read over them and trust your gut feeling as to which ones matter to you. Highlight all those that are important to you.
Achievement
Health & Wellbeing
Leadership
Balance
Honesty
Open Communication
Belonging/affiliation
Family
Personal Development
Challenge
Financial Success
Respect
Contributing
Fun
Recognition & Prestige
Creativity
Initiative
Self Respect
Equality
Independence
Security
Freedom
Influence
Spirituality
Harmony
Integrity
Variety
2. Prioritise - your top 5 values from the list. If you can’t decide on your top 5, compare them one by one against each other ie is Family more important than Freedom?
3. Rate your current level of satisfaction with each value at this time in your life.
My Top 5 Values are ..................and My Level of Satisfaction is
1.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
2.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
3.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
5.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4. Review – what does this tell you about what is most important to you about your life? What is working and giving you satisfaction? What do you need to pay more attention to?
Start to think about what a difference knowing what’s important to you could mean to all the roles in your life, and most importantly, what a difference that will make to your decision making. In future lessons, it will be very clear why.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thanks to the Working Mums 'Support Teams'
Well we couldn't do this 'Working Mother' gig without lots of support right?So - a BIG thanks to my wonderful Mum and Dad who live interstate in Queensland (that's the state with the pointy end at the top for all you international WM's) and who had my kids Emily and Elliot for a week so that I could work in (some of) the school holidays.
Here they are (front row middle and right) at Seaworld Fun Park having a fabulous time (missing Mum heaps - NOT!) with all their cousins (yes that's almost all of them in the whole ride - plus an Aunt and Uncle!)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Pathways - for boys and girls everywhere
I've just attended a Pathways Senior Leaders meeting for 2 days to discuss how we need to change and develop as an organisation to cope with the extraordinary growth of our programs in Australia and potentially, globally.I'm so privileged and excited to work with a group of men and women who care so much about our teenagers and who work so hard at trying to understand the differences between men and women so that we can all make it easier (hopefully) for our kids.
Working mothers have been striving for a long time to have our needs understood and met in the business world - so it's great to work for an organisation that tries to incorporate that. I hope that you also have (or find) some compassionate workplace where you feel like you really belong...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Working Mums - working for all our daughters' futures
I've just spent 4 days working with an amazing circle of women - we call ourselves 'Women Weaving towards a contemporary Rite of Passage for Girls'. We are seven women - all working mothers with teenage daughters - who are designing and facilitating a program for 13-15 year old girls to aid them in the transition from young girl to young woman. Surely one of the hardest transitions in life! We ran our first pilot program for the Pathways Foundation last year and are now refining it before running another 2 programs in 2007.I feel blessed to be part of this group of funny, passionate, and compassionate women and feel very 'filled up' after being with them all. I believe all working mums benefit from spending time with other good women who are willing to be real and share themselves honestly with each other - don't you?
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Gather the Women - Rites of Passage: Girls Into Young Women
I've been busy getting a conference paper ready for the 'Gather the Women' conference in Sydney starting tomorrow.
I'm speaking about 'Rites of Passage: Girls into Young Women' which is the work I'm involved in for the NFP organisation The Pathways Foundation http://www.pathwaysfoundation.com.au/. They provide contemporary rites of passage programs, for boys ‘Pathways to Manhood’ and for girls ‘Pathways into Womanhood’ and is a registered harm prevention charity.
Gather the Women Australia (GTWA) is part of a global movement of diverse women joining with many others to celebrate our true worth. Our vision is to empower each other to make the changes within our own worlds, which will enhance our lives and the lives of all beings around us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, to bring about a peaceful and ethical world.
You might like to know about the following GTW gatherings worldwide as opportunities to converge, connect, and cocreate what is right for you (more detail below):
Australian Congress, THIS IS THE MOMENT, July 6-8, 2007. Register at http://www.gatherthewomenoz.com/
3rd International Women's Peace Conference, Dallas, TX, July 10-15, 2007, GTW Friday workshop.
European Congress, March 2009, call to cocreators. Contact: Dr. Sabine Leuwer at dr.s.leuwer@arcor.de.
South American Congress, call to new leadership. Contact: Kathe Schaaf katheschaaf@cox.net.
Regional leadership and events, call to leadership for October "One Community" events. Contact Joy at harrietadams@cox.net or Marilyn at marilyn@nydow.com.
Women's World Conference, Sofia, Bulgaria, 2010, call to cocreators. Go to www.5WWC.org for more information.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
School holidays - Time for some fun!
It's school holidays here at the moment - so I'm taking some time to have fun with my kids.Hope you are too - nothing fills my soul like the sound of my kids laughing - 'specially when I'm laughing with them!
I particularly like having at least one 'jarmy' day - we don't get out of our pyjamas all day and snuggle up playing cards or watching a movie - as it's winter holidays here in Australia....
Have a wonderful time all you working mums - I hope you can spend some of it with your kids - wherever you are!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Not so super 'Super changes' for Working Mums
The new lauded Superannuation changes coming into effect from today actually have little relevance for working mums.
An article in The Age newspaper today states:
'According to a report released by the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia in June 2007, the average retirement payout for men retiring in the 2006-07 year is likely to be $130,000, while women, on average, will receive a meagre $45,000.
The reasons for the low payouts for women are disturbing and can be traced back to discriminatory work and superannuation policies over the past 50 years. Women were paid half the money men were paid for the same job until the laws were changed in 1975. Even now, according to countless studies, women are paid less than men in similar roles, although the gap is closing.
Today, family responsibilities, including rearing children and caring for elderly parents, still predominantly fall on women's shoulders. Women, if working, are more likely to have part-time rather than full-time work, although female participation in the workforce is increasing.
The Superannuation Guarantee still only applies to workers earning more than $450 a month, and women on paid maternity leave are still not entitled to the guarantee.
One of the more innovative Government super policies, the co-contribution scheme, promoted as a female-friendly policy, excludes many women because it is only available to the self-employed and employees. The co-contribution scheme involves the Government paying a tax-free super contribution of up to $1500 each year, if an individual makes a $1000 after-tax contribution each year to a super fund — but you have to be working.'
What about the part-time working mums amd women on maternity leave - as well as stay-at-home Mums?
For full article, see http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/super-changes-dont-add-up-to-much/2007/06/30/1182624234571.html
An article in The Age newspaper today states:
'According to a report released by the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia in June 2007, the average retirement payout for men retiring in the 2006-07 year is likely to be $130,000, while women, on average, will receive a meagre $45,000.
The reasons for the low payouts for women are disturbing and can be traced back to discriminatory work and superannuation policies over the past 50 years. Women were paid half the money men were paid for the same job until the laws were changed in 1975. Even now, according to countless studies, women are paid less than men in similar roles, although the gap is closing.
Today, family responsibilities, including rearing children and caring for elderly parents, still predominantly fall on women's shoulders. Women, if working, are more likely to have part-time rather than full-time work, although female participation in the workforce is increasing.
The Superannuation Guarantee still only applies to workers earning more than $450 a month, and women on paid maternity leave are still not entitled to the guarantee.
One of the more innovative Government super policies, the co-contribution scheme, promoted as a female-friendly policy, excludes many women because it is only available to the self-employed and employees. The co-contribution scheme involves the Government paying a tax-free super contribution of up to $1500 each year, if an individual makes a $1000 after-tax contribution each year to a super fund — but you have to be working.'
What about the part-time working mums amd women on maternity leave - as well as stay-at-home Mums?
For full article, see http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/super-changes-dont-add-up-to-much/2007/06/30/1182624234571.html
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Australian Federal Parliment - Breastfeeding Friendly?
A MALE MP is trying to make Federal Parliament more "female-friendly" by allowing new mothers to breastfeed infants without being interrupted.NSW Labor MP Roger Price has told The Daily Telegraph he wanted to change Parliament's standing orders, allowing nursing mothers a proxy vote. This would mean they would not have to interrupt breastfeeding infants when a vote is called in the parliamentary chambers.
"The parliament is still a very male-oriented place to work and doesn't fully address the need of young female MPs. It's about time we changed," Mr Price said. Skier turned politician Kirstie Marshall created a stir in Victorian Parliament four years ago when she breastfed daughter Charlotte in legislative assembly.
Let's hope so - and go Roger! We need more men like this to support working mums!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Time for Yourself - Curly Leg Hairs?
I flew to Brisbane, Queensland this week to facilitate a 'Working Mother's Forum' for a major law firm there. I had a great session with the Mums there - all so relieved to find out that they are not alone in their challenges and so grateful just to meet the other WM's in the firm and get to know who else is a Mum!We were discussing taking time out for ourselves as Working Mums - and one WM with a small baby said that her husband had been away for 4 weeks overseas. She realised that she hadn't had much time to herself when she noticed her leg hairs were actually so long they were curly 'cos she hadn't had time to shave them!
Love the image!! Thanks Lisa for the laugh.......
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Ahoy thar me hearties!
What we Mums do for our kids huh? I remember my Mum (a stay at home Mum with 6 kids) making us fabulous birthday cakes for our birthday parties - which we were allowed to have when we were 7 and 10 years only. All other years we had a family party - which were big enough anyway with 6 brothers and sisters! So, buoyed on by memories of those wonderful cakes - I decided to attempt a pirate cake for Elliot's 7th Pirate birthday party - and here's the result! Thank you to the Australian Women's Weekly Birthday Party Cookbook - it really wasn't as hard as it looks.....
As they say in the Mastercard ad:
Packet Cake mix and Lollies - $20
Time taken to Assemble -1.5 hours
Look on Elliot's face when it was finished - PRICELESS!!
Friday, June 22, 2007
'Push It'- Paid Maternity Leave for Aussie Gals
Wow- I just love the magazine 'Marie Claire' for all the lobbying they do for women and working mums!They have announced a new initiative called 'Push It-Paid Maternity Leave' to lobby for 14 weeks paid leave for new Mums in Australia. They held a rally in Sydney last Thursday 14 June attended by 350 women braving the cold and rain that day! Go girls!
Did you know Australia and the US are the only countries in the Organisation for Economic Co-ordination and Development (OECD) that do not have universal paid maternity schemes? - and this is despite the Australian government encouraging us to have more children!
In Canada, a new mum would receive an incredible 50 weeks paid leave - of which 35 could be taken by either herself or her partner. In Italy, she'd receive 47 weeks, in the UK, 39 weeks, while in Germany and Japan, she would be entitled to 14 weeks of fully paid maternity leave. The UK government recently increased its state-funded maternity leave from six to nearly 10 months. In Australia, employers are not obliged to pay anything once a pregnant worker goes on maternity leave. And it is this continued lack of support for new mothers that has sparked protests.
Register your support for this by going to http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/marie-claire/ - and help PUSH IT!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Welcome to Working Mums Survival Guide
Hi! We are Virginia Herlihy and Maree Lipschitz,
Welcome to our Working Mums Survival Guide! We are both working mums with 2 kids each -and corporate facilitators, executive coaches and 'soon to be' e-book authors!
We run forums for mothers working in organisations to help support them to feel confident and satisfied in all areas of their lives. We're passionate about helping working mums thrive and feel good about their choice to have a career -and have a family.
We'll be posting lots of items to help you achieve this - so check here regularly!
Here's to a fabulous, balanced and satisfying life...
Virginia & Maree
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