Where do you tend to focus most of your energy? Often our energy is focused externally because as Working Mums we are too busy looking after others – our children, our partner, often our aging parents as well. Yet our well being and the way we are in the world depends on only one person - our self!
Yet we can lose sight of what’s important to us in the midst of so much focus on others – and when we lose sight of what’s important then it becomes incredibly hard to make decisions. We don’t know what our priorities are and we can get confused by other people’s opinions and judgments – and as I’m sure you know –as Working Mums – there are plenty of those directed at us!
So we need to be clear about what’s important to us personally. For every Working Mum that will be different. Because if we know and live our lives by what’s important to US, we feel better about ourselves and more satisfied with our life. Things line up and align – we get in the ‘zone’.
If we don’t live according to our priorities – we will increasingly be at the beck and call of others and feel exhausted and torn in many ways. It will just cause us stress and dissatisfaction. Who wants that? Particularly in the mothering role – which is such an emotive role – it’s good to have some gauge by which to make our decisions in life.
Another reason why it’s important to look at our values – is because we will do whatever we can to get our values met!. Whether we know what they are and whether that happens consciously or unconsciously – it does happen. If we know what our values are, then we can make informed decisions that align with our life’s desires and make them more quickly and easily! Wouldn’t that be great – and it saves us time as well!
Let’s do this Simple Values Exercise to start.
1. Choose - your top values from the list below. Read over them and trust your gut feeling as to which ones matter to you. Highlight all those that are important to you.
Achievement
Health & Wellbeing
Leadership
Balance
Honesty
Open Communication
Belonging/affiliation
Family
Personal Development
Challenge
Financial Success
Respect
Contributing
Fun
Recognition & Prestige
Creativity
Initiative
Self Respect
Equality
Independence
Security
Freedom
Influence
Spirituality
Harmony
Integrity
Variety
2. Prioritise - your top 5 values from the list. If you can’t decide on your top 5, compare them one by one against each other ie is Family more important than Freedom?
3. Rate your current level of satisfaction with each value at this time in your life.
My Top 5 Values are ..................and My Level of Satisfaction is
1.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
2.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
3.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
5.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10
4. Review – what does this tell you about what is most important to you about your life? What is working and giving you satisfaction? What do you need to pay more attention to?
Start to think about what a difference knowing what’s important to you could mean to all the roles in your life, and most importantly, what a difference that will make to your decision making. In future lessons, it will be very clear why.
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2 comments:
It seems unfortunate how many people overlook the concept of fun as an important and integral part of their well-being. Many put it more toward the bottom,if at all on the list of life values and some see it as frivilous. I have laughter and play classes for grown-ups and am trying to find a way to communicate the healing, and transformative value, life satisfaction increase, and overall sense of well being by taking part in such activities. I look forward to the time when play and laugher has an ever higher value in todays society and is taken "seriously". Fun,play,and laughter connects me to my true self and brings such joy.
I absolutely agree Marilyn! Many of the women doing this values process in our Forums are often surprised to discover how important FUN is to them in their lives. Once they've put back some fun activities for themselves they feel SO much better - and they say their families do too! Laughter is so healing and rejuvenating isn't it? Thanks - I appreciate your comment.
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