Working Mums Tip#1: Getting Clear on What’s Important to YOU

Where do you tend to focus most of your energy? Often our energy is focused externally because as Working Mums we are too busy looking after others – our children, our partner, often our aging parents as well. Yet our well being and the way we are in the world depends on only one person - our self!

Yet we can lose sight of what’s important to us in the midst of so much focus on others – and when we lose sight of what’s important then it becomes incredibly hard to make decisions. We don’t know what our priorities are and we can get confused by other people’s opinions and judgments – and as I’m sure you know –as Working Mums – there are plenty of those directed at us!

So we need to be clear about what’s important to us personally. For every Working Mum that will be different. Because if we know and live our lives by what’s important to US, we feel better about ourselves and more satisfied with our life. Things line up and align – we get in the ‘zone’.

If we don’t live according to our priorities – we will increasingly be at the beck and call of others and feel exhausted and torn in many ways. It will just cause us stress and dissatisfaction. Who wants that? Particularly in the mothering role – which is such an emotive role – it’s good to have some gauge by which to make our decisions in life.

Another reason why it’s important to look at our values – is because we will do whatever we can to get our values met!. Whether we know what they are and whether that happens consciously or unconsciously – it does happen. If we know what our values are, then we can make informed decisions that align with our life’s desires and make them more quickly and easily! Wouldn’t that be great – and it saves us time as well!

Let’s do this Simple Values Exercise to start.

1. Choose - your top values from the list below. Read over them and trust your gut feeling as to which ones matter to you. Highlight all those that are important to you.

Achievement
Health & Wellbeing
Leadership
Balance
Honesty
Open Communication
Belonging/affiliation
Family
Personal Development
Challenge
Financial Success
Respect
Contributing
Fun
Recognition & Prestige
Creativity
Initiative
Self Respect
Equality
Independence
Security
Freedom
Influence
Spirituality
Harmony
Integrity
Variety


2. Prioritise - your top 5 values from the list. If you can’t decide on your top 5, compare them one by one against each other ie is Family more important than Freedom?

3. Rate your current level of satisfaction with each value at this time in your life.

My Top 5 Values are ..................and My Level of Satisfaction is

1.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10


2.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10


3.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10


4.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10


5.___________________ 1 .. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5 .. 6.. 7 .. 8 .. 9.. 10

4. Review – what does this tell you about what is most important to you about your life? What is working and giving you satisfaction? What do you need to pay more attention to?

Start to think about what a difference knowing what’s important to you could mean to all the roles in your life, and most importantly, what a difference that will make to your decision making. In future lessons, it will be very clear why.

Thanks to the Working Mums 'Support Teams'

Well we couldn't do this 'Working Mother' gig without lots of support right?

So - a BIG thanks to my wonderful Mum and Dad who live interstate in Queensland (that's the state with the pointy end at the top for all you international WM's) and who had my kids Emily and Elliot for a week so that I could work in (some of) the school holidays.

Here they are (front row middle and right) at Seaworld Fun Park having a fabulous time (missing Mum heaps - NOT!) with all their cousins (yes that's almost all of them in the whole ride - plus an Aunt and Uncle!)

Pathways - for boys and girls everywhere

I've just attended a Pathways Senior Leaders meeting for 2 days to discuss how we need to change and develop as an organisation to cope with the extraordinary growth of our programs in Australia and potentially, globally.

I'm so privileged and excited to work with a group of men and women who care so much about our teenagers and who work so hard at trying to understand the differences between men and women so that we can all make it easier (hopefully) for our kids.

Working mothers have been striving for a long time to have our needs understood and met in the business world - so it's great to work for an organisation that tries to incorporate that. I hope that you also have (or find) some compassionate workplace where you feel like you really belong...

Working Mums - working for all our daughters' futures

I've just spent 4 days working with an amazing circle of women - we call ourselves 'Women Weaving towards a contemporary Rite of Passage for Girls'. We are seven women - all working mothers with teenage daughters - who are designing and facilitating a program for 13-15 year old girls to aid them in the transition from young girl to young woman. Surely one of the hardest transitions in life! We ran our first pilot program for the Pathways Foundation last year and are now refining it before running another 2 programs in 2007.

I feel blessed to be part of this group of funny, passionate, and compassionate women and feel very 'filled up' after being with them all. I believe all working mums benefit from spending time with other good women who are willing to be real and share themselves honestly with each other - don't you?

Gather the Women - Rites of Passage: Girls Into Young Women

I've been busy getting a conference paper ready for the 'Gather the Women' conference in Sydney starting tomorrow.

I'm speaking about 'Rites of Passage: Girls into Young Women' which is the work I'm involved in for the NFP organisation The Pathways Foundation http://www.pathwaysfoundation.com.au/. They provide contemporary rites of passage programs, for boys ‘Pathways to Manhood’ and for girls ‘Pathways into Womanhood’ and is a registered harm prevention charity.

Gather the Women Australia (GTWA) is part of a global movement of diverse women joining with many others to celebrate our true worth. Our vision is to empower each other to make the changes within our own worlds, which will enhance our lives and the lives of all beings around us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, to bring about a peaceful and ethical world.

You might like to know about the following GTW gatherings worldwide as opportunities to converge, connect, and cocreate what is right for you (more detail below):

Australian Congress, THIS IS THE MOMENT, July 6-8, 2007. Register at http://www.gatherthewomenoz.com/

3rd International Women's Peace Conference, Dallas, TX, July 10-15, 2007, GTW Friday workshop.

European Congress, March 2009, call to cocreators. Contact: Dr. Sabine Leuwer at dr.s.leuwer@arcor.de.

South American Congress, call to new leadership. Contact: Kathe Schaaf katheschaaf@cox.net.

Regional leadership and events, call to leadership for October "One Community" events. Contact Joy at harrietadams@cox.net or Marilyn at marilyn@nydow.com.

Women's World Conference, Sofia, Bulgaria, 2010, call to cocreators. Go to www.5WWC.org for more information.

School holidays - Time for some fun!

It's school holidays here at the moment - so I'm taking some time to have fun with my kids.

Hope you are too - nothing fills my soul like the sound of my kids laughing - 'specially when I'm laughing with them!

I particularly like having at least one 'jarmy' day - we don't get out of our pyjamas all day and snuggle up playing cards or watching a movie - as it's winter holidays here in Australia....

Have a wonderful time all you working mums - I hope you can spend some of it with your kids - wherever you are!

Not so super 'Super changes' for Working Mums

The new lauded Superannuation changes coming into effect from today actually have little relevance for working mums.

An article in The Age newspaper today states:

'According to a report released by the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia in June 2007, the average retirement payout for men retiring in the 2006-07 year is likely to be $130,000, while women, on average, will receive a meagre $45,000.

The reasons for the low payouts for women are disturbing and can be traced back to discriminatory work and superannuation policies over the past 50 years. Women were paid half the money men were paid for the same job until the laws were changed in 1975. Even now, according to countless studies, women are paid less than men in similar roles, although the gap is closing.

Today, family responsibilities, including rearing children and caring for elderly parents, still predominantly fall on women's shoulders. Women, if working, are more likely to have part-time rather than full-time work, although female participation in the workforce is increasing.

The Superannuation Guarantee still only applies to workers earning more than $450 a month, and women on paid maternity leave are still not entitled to the guarantee.

One of the more innovative Government super policies, the co-contribution scheme, promoted as a female-friendly policy, excludes many women because it is only available to the self-employed and employees. The co-contribution scheme involves the Government paying a tax-free super contribution of up to $1500 each year, if an individual makes a $1000 after-tax contribution each year to a super fund — but you have to be working.'

What about the part-time working mums amd women on maternity leave - as well as stay-at-home Mums?

For full article, see http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/super-changes-dont-add-up-to-much/2007/06/30/1182624234571.html